Saturday, October 9, 2010

Chapter 5

***A little longer I think, and hard to write, not because I didn't know where to go with it, because the part where I'm telling him about an ex-bf is true, so it was a little hard, and a little emotional for me to write...there also might be a few mistakes, but enjoy! :)

We get back to the hotel and decide to call for room service while we figured out how I was going to do my hair and makeup. I had 2 hours to work with until Jon was picking me up.
“Well, I don’t want to cake my make up on and look like a slut, nor do I want to look all scary with dark makeup…ugh!” I say as I plug in my curling iron.
“Here, let me do your hair, my cousin showed me how to curl it way cute” Abby says as I stand in the bathroom leaning against the sink, I’m in such a zone that I don’t even realize Laura is handing me my phone that had been ringing, and it’s my mother.
“Hi mom”
“Hey kiddo, how’s Chicago?” she asks
“So far so good, but you’ll never guess what I’m doing tonight”
“What are you doing tonight?”
“Going on a date with Jonathan Toews!”
“Hmmm, Jona…oooh! Him! Woah how did you manage that?”
“Long story, but I have to get ready, he’s picking me up soon”
“Oh ok call me tomorrow then, bye!”

Abby starts curling my hair as I decide to do my makeup when Patrick decides to call her, she talks to him for a few minutes, as Laura is texting Kane, geez makes me feel like I need to be on my phone. Abby hangs up and says that Patrick wishes me luck…ha yeah no pressure or anything here

“Geez, I feel old, I haven’t been on a date in so long, I’m nervous,” I say
“You have nothing to be nervous about! Obviously, Jon found something special about you yesterday when you guys met, otherwise he wouldn’t be doing this, and he’s not the type to ask random girls out…so your clearly something special.” Abby says
“Yeah, and you’ll have fun for both of us!” Laura adds
“What? Well why don’t you ask Kane what he’s doing, maybe ya’ll can hang out”
“No, I don’t want to look desperate here”
“Ok, just a suggestion”

About 10 minutes before 6, I take a final look in the mirror and decide that I’m ready and don’t want to fix anything because then I’ll end up over doing something. Abby decides to leave so she can go make dinner for her and her hubby, but not before giving me a good luck hug and saying bye. So I decide to kill time and just talk to Laura about Patrick…I swear his ears must have been burning because her phone rang and was surprised because he was calling her. I was happy for her because I thought he may want to take her out tonight or something…turns out they were just talking…I was about to text him and tell him to man up and ask her out when there was a knock on the door…dun dun dun. Here goes nothing! I open the door to see Jon in dress pants, and I nice button up shirt, I have to admit, the boy can clean up. I grab my clutch and say bye to Laura as we head out the door.

“You look amazing tonight,” he says giving me a kiss on the cheek
“Thank you, your looking quiet handsome yourself,” I tell him as we get out to his car and he opened the door for me, aww such a gentleman. We drive to the restaurant, talking a little bit, I ask him about his family and he asks about mine and before I know it, we arrive at Volare; and again, he runs over to open the door for me.

“Reservation for Toews” Jon tells the hostess, she takes us back to a table towards the back.
We take our seats and order the beginning of the meal and go on with our conversation. He asks about stuff in New Mexico, and I tell him it’s pretty boring, because there’s not much to do. We talk about out high schools, he tells me about getting along with the guys. It went really smoothly, and I realized that I really was nervous for nothing. But I kind of hesitate when we begin to talk about previous relationships, he tells me that he was with his last girlfriend 3 years ago, for 6 months; I begin to tell him about mine when I get choked up…

“If you don’t want to tell me, I’ll understand,” he says
“No, I will, but just not here. But it has a lot to do with how I’ve become stronger, so I will tell you, just when it’s the two of us.” I tell him, as he gives me a reassuring nod.

He grabs the check as were finishing and he tells me that he has desert planned for us at his house. So we get up and head out towards his house. We pull into the parking garage next to his condo and walk up. Jon gets a little shaky as were in the elevator, but I was just thinking that he is a little nervous too. We get off the elevator to the only door in front of us; I guess his condo is pretty big; it’s on a floor by itself, pretty nice. As he opens the door, I hear a sign of relief, wondering what it’s all about; I follow him in, only to see a couple candles lit on the coffee table, and his balcony door open. I look at him curiously as I set my clutch and coat on the table.

“I wanted to surprise you, and not have it so plain, so I had Seabs come and set up the candles and blankets on the balcony,” he tells me
“Aww, Jon this is so cute!” I tell him as he leads me out to the balcony for me to see a little table with a bottle of wine, a red rose, and chocolate-covered strawberries; as well as a couple blankets and pillows in the corner so we can sit out. Quite romantic.
“Wow, this is amazing”
“Well, I wanted it to be special” Jon says as we sit down on the blankets.
It’s a little chilly out so he has an extra blanket to wrap around us after he pours 2 glasses of wine for us; I take a sip and prepare to tell him what I told him I was holding off on at dinner, and he picks up on my senses.

“J, you really don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, I’ll understand”
“No, I will, but just a forewarning, I might get a little emotional”
“Well I’m here for you”
“Ok, so junior year in high school, me and my family take a trip out to Wilmington, North Carolina. I met the guy at the front desk after we caught eyes when he was recommending restaurants to us. Long story short, we start talking later that night and completely hit it off. After vacation, he comes to visit me in New Mexico and I visit him in Fort Bragg, where he’s from. Still going strong 2 years later and then right after new years in 2008 he tells me he’s getting deployed to Iraq for 18 months. We talk on the phone everyday up until he’s about to leave for Iraq at the end of January, he tells me “This isn’t good bye, it’s Ill see you later, I love you” and that was the last time I ever talked to him.” I take a pause as I feel my eyes tearing up, and Jon starts rubbing my back.

“I remember one night I was driving home from hanging out with friends, when his mom calls me, being almost midnight, I knew something wasn’t right, so I answer it and she tells me that the Lieutenant came to her door to tell her that Zach had been listed as a POW, and they are doing everything possible to find him. I didn’t sleep at all that night, all I could think about was how badly I wanted him back safely. The next day I call my manager to see if I can work a double because I know that no matter what, Zach wouldn’t want me sitting around worrying about him. So to keep positive thoughts, I keep a picture of him and the only email I got from him with me in my apron.” I pause again as I get to the hard part, and am already crying.

“Later towards the end of my shift, a couple of my friends come visit me and my best friend asks if I have heard anything, right as I say no, my phone rings, I look into my apron and see that its Zach’s mom, so I run to the bathroom to answer it. She isn’t even talking, she’s crying; she doesn’t even have to say anything, because I knew right then that Zach wasn’t coming home. She was finally able to calm down a little bit to tell me that his squad leader found his body a few hours ago. I couldn’t even say anything, we were both just crying for a few minutes, I promise to call her right after I get off work and walk back into the restaurant towards where my friends were sitting; I don’t even have to say anything, my best friend gets up right away and pulls me into a hug and I can’t hold it in anymore. i just keep crying and try to tell her that Zach is dead, but I couldn't stop crying" I bring my self to calm down from crying again, Jon kisses my forehead and pulls me into a hug.

“J, I’m so sorry, I can’t imagine ever going through that”
“I didn’t either, it was the hardest thing ever, and it’s still hard”
“Yeah, I can only imagine” he says as he wipes tears off my cheeks.

We sit in complete silence for a few minutes before Jon asks if there’s anything he can do.

“Your doing it now, your being here, your listening to me, and your letting me cry on your shoulder, I couldn’t ask for anything more” I tell him.

Right then I can feel his face getting closer to mine, a million thoughts are going through my head but nothing stops me from moving a little closer as his lips crash on mine; it’s a long but sweet kiss; he pulls back a bit and just stares into my eyes, and smiles. I can’t help but think how amazing he is. We talk a little more then change the subject, because he doesn’t want to see his beautiful date crying.

“I think you are a very strong woman to have to deal with something like that, so life changing. I know losing a loved one is hard, but I do believe it can make someone stronger, and I can see that in you, and I really admire that in you.”
“Thank you, and thank you for listening too, I don’t talk about it to a lot of people and it is still hard, but it helps me.”

We continue to talk for a while longer when Jon asks me what I want to do, I sit and kind of think for a few minutes, because right now I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

“Would you want to stay here tonight with me?” He asks. I don’t even respond, I just kiss him, I can tell he’s smiling into it before he looks back at me, he doesn’t even need a response, he can see it in my eyes that I’m telling him yes.


  1. aw how cute! and im so sorry, that is a terrible loss and you're incredibly strong and amazing to write about it and let it influence your story. great work! i loved it!

  2. Wow, that was amazing! Writing about difficult times in my life definitely helped me cope...?... I guess that would be the right word, and you did an amazing job! Really, I'm pretty floored at the moment. Great job and stay strong, one thing about blogger, is that we're all a twisted network of friends, so you've got a ton of virtual hugs headed your way!

  3. ^^ Aeryn is right! TONS of hugs* ^^

    I'm so sorry that you had to go through something like that. It's never fair when things like that happen. Nothing we say makes it any easier to deal with, and most of us have never been in that type of situation, but I hope that the condolences still help and show that people do wish well.

    On a positive note, the chapter was great, and I definitely like the parts of conversations being split up like you're doing now!

    And, even though it's difficult, adding real life experiences in to stories like that help because you can put so much emotion into a fictional story if you add little bits of reality here or there. Even if they're things that we want to forget sometimes.

  4. aww yall made me cry! you girls are soo sweet! yeah it really was hard and i knew i was going to add it in which took like an hour just to type it, but i did it! and aeryn i agree! thanks for the virtual hugs! and yeah im glad that splitting up the conversations made it easier to read. we all need to find each other on facebook!

  5. hugs! keep strong!! couple new chapters on
    if you want to check them out. really love your story

  6. thanks! glad yall are liking it! ill be getting another chapter up within the next few days....midterms are this!

  7. I lost a close friend in Afghanistan in 2008 too and I agree, writing about grief can be therapeutic. Excellent chapter and I see you've split the speech up! Loved it! :)